We live surrounded by people who constantly present themselves as victims of life: “People always disappoint me,” “I am the only one who suffers.”… Phrases that, although sometimes they sound like legitimate complaints, Deep down they hide a lack of self-criticism and a great facility for holding the rest responsible for everything.. When a person uses this victimhood excessively, We may be facing a pattern of emotional manipulation that exhausts us and leaves us with a feeling of guilt and frustration.. For this, It is important to identify this way of dealing with relationships and learn to confront these people without ending up breaking our limits or feeling very guilty..
You have a victimizing person nearby if…
- Use phrases like “After everything I've done for you”…, “You always treat me terribly” or “What you're saying doesn't make sense.”, “I have never said that”, “I am the one who is worse” to manipulate the conversation and your reasons for annoyance or opinions are nullified.
- Every time you try to set limits, overreacts and makes you feel guilty.
- demands you May you solve your life.
What happens when we are surrounded by people who constantly victimize themselves??
- We feel responsible for your well-being.
- We wear ourselves out trying to solve something that really does not correspond to us.
- We constantly question ourselves if we are to blame for his problems or if we are really making him suffer as much as he says..
Symptoms in someone who has been dealing with a victimizer for a long time:
- Constant feeling of guilt: Even though you haven't done anything wrong, you feel guilty about the situation or the other party's emotions.
- Doubts about your own perception: The victim manipulates reality, which may lead you to question your own emotions or thoughts.
- It is very difficult for you to get angry and you tend to turn this emotion into sadness..
- Feeling like you can't do anything right: Despite your efforts, is never enough and the victimizer always appears dissatisfied.
- emotional exhaustion: You come to think that the situation is impossible to change and you fall into hopelessness.
- You avoid conflict: You keep quiet about what you think because you are afraid that everyone will react like that person..
Characteristics of someone who is a victim:
- Little capacity for self-criticism: They do not recognize their errors or defects and, if they do, they justify them.
- Blame others for their problems: They always find an external reason to justify their discomfort..
- emotional manipulation: They use tactics such as emotional blackmail or guilt to get what they want.
- Lack of empathy: They do not consider the needs or emotions of others, since they are focused on their own suffering.
- High demands and expectations: They expect others to take care of them and solve their problems..
what can i do? Practical tools to avoid falling into the hands of victimhood.
- Seek professional help: If the situation overwhelms you, a therapist can help you manage the relationship.
- Practice assertiveness and set clear limits: Learn to express your needs and do not wait for the other party to understand it, maybe you have to set those limits even if you don't receive empathy from the other party.
- Accept the guilt that will cause you to stop saving and justify everything.
- Don't make someone else's fault yours: It is very important to recognize that you are not responsible for the problems of others.
- Encourage personal responsibility: If we want the person who is victimized to gain autonomy, we have to stop solving everything.
Affirmations that can help you…
- I am responsible for myself: my emotions, decisions and behaviors are my responsibility.
- Others are responsible for themselves: I am not responsible for your emotions, decisions and behaviors.
- I recognize my own responsibilities and take charge of them.
- I am not responsible for what does not belong to me: I don't have to carry the emotions or problems of others..
Have you found yourself caught in this dynamic with someone close to you?? In this new episode of #Atusaludmentalpodcast we talk in depth about all this and you will learn to relate to yourself in a healthier and more respectful way.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6pXku4rXVc https://open.spotify.com/episode/3oKihGsFScgeatcnA1UiRt?si=uMZvMoyCSquf-iHL5Ncp2Q
I hope that today's article has given you.
A hug,
Natalia from To your mental health.
